Son casi las 3pm y no dejo de bostezar, pero es de esos bostezos horrendos, no de sueño sino de vil pereza. Afuera está nubladísimo y hay mucho viento, pero igual tenemos 32°C de temperatura y resulta molesto. Me paro a dar de vueltas para no dormirme y me pongo a leer los chistes que J, mi nueva compañera de cubículo/caballeriza, tiene pegados en su gabinete. Los encontré también en línea y por eso los pongo aquí.
42 Methods of Mathematical ProofIf the proof of a theorem is not immediately apparent, it may be because you are trying the wrong approach. Below are some effective methods of proof that might aim you in the right direction.
Proof by obviousness: "The proof is so clear that it need not be mentioned."
Proof by general agreement: "All in favor?..."
Proof by imagination: "Well, we'll pretend it's true..."
Proof by convenience: "It would be very nice if it were true, so..."
Proof by necessity: "It had better be true, or the entire structure of mathematics would crumble to the ground."
Proof by plausibility: "It sounds good, so it must be true."
Proof by intimidation: "Don't be stupid; of course it's true!"
Proof by lack of sufficient time: "Because of the time constrait, I'll leave the proof to you."
Proof by postponement: "The proof for this is long and arduous, so it is given to you in the appendix."
Proof by accident: "Hey, what have we here?!"
Proof by insignificance: "Who really cares anyway?"
Proof by mumbo-jumbo:
Proof by profanity: (example omitted)
Proof by definition: "We define it to be true."
Proof by tautology: "It's true because it's true."
Proof by plagiarism: "As we see on page 289,..."
Proof by lost reference: "I know I saw it somewhere...."
Proof by calculus: "This proof requires calculus, so we'll skip it."
Proof by terror: When intimidation fails...
Proof by lack of interest: "Does anyone really want to see this?"
Proof by illegibility:
Proof by logic: "If it is on the problem sheet, it must be true!"
Proof by majority rule: Only to be used if general agreement is impossible.
Proof by clever variable choice: "Let A be the number such that this proof works..."
Proof by tessellation: "This proof is the same as the last."
Proof by divine word: "...And the Lord said, 'Let it be true,' and it was true."
Proof by stubbornness: "I don't care what you say- it is true."
Proof by simplification: "This proof reduced to the statement 1 + 1 = 2."
Proof by hasty generalization: "Well, it works for 17, so it works for all reals."
Proof by deception: "Now everyone turn their backs..."
Proof by supplication: "Oh please, let it be true."
Proof by poor analogy: "Well, it's just like..."
Proof by avoidance: Limit of proof by postponement as it approaches infinity
Proof by design: If it's not true in today's math, invent a new system in which it is.
Proof by authority: "Well, Don Knuth says it's true, so it must be!"
Proof by intuition: "I have this gut feeling."
Proof by Vigorous Assertion: "And I REALLY MEAN THAT!"
Proof by A.F.K.T. Theorem: "Any Fool Knows That!"
Proof by vigorous handwaving: Works well in a classroom.
Proof by seduction: "Convince yourself that this is true!"
Proof by accumulated evidence: "Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample."
Proof by Divine Intervention: "Then a miracle occurs ..."
Why God never received a PhD * He had only one major publication.
* It was in Hebrew.
* It had no references.
* It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
* Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
* It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
* His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
* The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
* He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
* When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
* When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
* He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
* Some say he had his son teach the class.
* He expelled his first two students for learning.
* Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
* His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
* No record of working well with colleagues.
y para rematar, acá en El Universal publicaron
esta nota sobre los premios Anti-Nobel 2008.
Ya, ahora sí, a talonearle.